An overuse of italics.

Sometimes things don't work out.

You can practice your steps, run through your choreography a million times, test out that costume, triple check your music, plan for every possible eventuality, and BAM! Something goes wrong. Call it Murphy's Law, or call it what I do: Life. Yep. That's how life is. You think you know what's going on, but that's an illusion you feed yourself so you don't go loco. We have no idea what is going to happen. We can only plan for the worst and hope for the best.

I often find that the more stress I put on myself to "do good," the less good I actually do. My troupe calls it "chasing the awesome." The more awesome you try to be, the less awesome you tend to ACTUALLY be. This doesn't mean you should stop practicing, or planning, or thinking, but it does mean that you need to find the line between "trying" and "trying too hard" and then go up to the line, but no further.

Now, if you've effed up-- I mean really effed up-- you can feel free to examine why/how/when that happened. Let's say you have a wardrobe malfunction on stage. Did you practice the piece in the costume? Did you make sure it was constructed well before putting it on? Did you check the venue to see if the costume was appropriate for it (i.e., "Gee, I really wish I hadn't worn that white chiffon to the rainy day of Ren Faire")?

If you figure out where you effed up, make a note of what you did and how to avoid it, and move the fuck on. Seriously. Holding onto that "Oh damnit, I messed up" feeling does nothing to help you. Don't use it as an excuse to stop trying ("I'm just not good enough") or to work yourself to death ("I'll practice until I can't possibly mess up."). Accept the fact that you're human, that everyone knows you're human, that mistakes show you're not a television show, and get over it.

Have you ever preplanned a conversation that you're afraid to have? Where you try and guess what will be said, and come up with answers to it in advance. So you're "prepared." So you're less afraid.

Did it help? I mean, really help? I have found that just as often as not, I cannot predict what someone will do or say. I think they'll get mad and they don't. Or I figure it'll be fine and it's not. All my planning does, usually, is give me a false sense of security. It's like a screensaver for my brain.

Worrying does nothing. It does not cure sickness, or prevent accidents, or keep your CD from skipping during the number right in front of the famous dancer. All it does is raise your heart rate and use up time that you could be spending on, I dunno, something productive and/or fun.

Sometimes things don't work out. And that's okay.